I think it goes without saying that, being a woman, I have a lot of different emotions, and that I can go through about 6 of those emotions in the time span of 10 seconds. My emotions and how I wear them have always been an important part of who I am and how people see me. I usually get referred to as "the sweet one," or "that cute, little one." My personal favorite was one day at work one of my coworkers referred to me as "a walking Xanax" after hearing me apparently calm down an agitated patient with just a few soothing words. And while I do always try to have a kind or encouraging word for everyone I come into contact with, those closest to me know the truth: I'm notoriously stubborn; I have a temper that can only be attributed to my Irish roots; I can be an incredibly cliche "white girl" (I'm sitting in Starbucks as I'm typing this, about to order a pumpkin spice latte, so I'm allowed to say that); and I am the WORST at just sitting still. Even as I'm focusing on writing this long overdue post, in the back of my mind, I have about 4 different lists mentally prepared to put to paper whenever I get the chance. And it's not that I'm overly stressed or burnt out or anything of the sort. I just love always having something to do. I like to stay busy. Here lately though, I've been able to spend time with a friend that I've known for about 5 years, and it amazes me sometimes how he is able to just BE there. No agenda. No to-do list. He's just there to listen to my seemingly never-ending hospital horror stories and to make me laugh at the drop of a hat, and it got me thinking.....when was the last time I was just there? When was the last time I simply basked in being present? When was the last time I just sat at God's feet and enjoyed Him for simply being Him?
It can be so incredibly hard to just be still in God's presence when so many different emotions are fighting for your attention. Jealousy. Giddiness. Frustration. Exhaustion. Excitement. Just to name a few of the ones I've been experiencing the past few weeks. We are all usually in constant need of something, whether it be money, a job, a friend, a miracle. We are so concerned about what the next moment is going to bring, whether it be good or bad, that we forget to enjoy the one that we're in. As I have mentioned in past posts, I have a very bad habit (that I'm still working on fully breaking) of wanting to control every single detail of a situation, even the seemingly simplest ones. It's so easy for me to allow myself to become swept up in a situation without remembering who set me there to begin with. I sometimes get so excited about a new experience or idea that I can become *ahem* unintentionally a bit overbearing. I've been so incredibly blessed and sometimes I forget that God is the one who gave me every single blessing. He didn't place me where I'm at and then say, "Okay, here ya go. Enjoy. I'll see you later." In the Hollywood blockbuster-worthy twister of emotions that I've been experiencing lately, God's been right there, in the eye of the storm, right in the center of it all, keeping it stable for me. I've been making it a point this past week to take time every morning to simply BE. Before I even check Facebook or Instagram, I take just about 20 minutes to simply sit and let God surround me, and let me tell you, I can already feel a difference in how I feel throughout the rest of the day. I'm calmer. I'm more joyful. I smile more. I'm letting my absolutely awesome Heavenly Father do what He does best (love on His child) and I'm allowing the peace that comes with that to cover me and, incidentally, burrow its way into my thoughts and actions. Do I still have moments where my emotions try to take over and control my mood? Chyeah. Daily. In those moments though, I just have to stop what I'm doing completely and simply be there. No timelines. No check off lists. No plans of attack. And what I've discovered is that 99% of the time, the situation that I'm in would be so much better if I would just......wait for it......let it go (Told you I have a Disney obsession). So today, I want to encourage everyone who lays eyes on this page: stop what you're doing, realize that you can't control everything, and simply be.
