I Did Not Sign Up for This

    I wasn't planning on writing anything today. With the weather as wet and cold as it is, plus the fact that I have to work a 12 hour shift tonight makes me want to just crawl under the covers and not move an inch. But sometimes things don't always go the way that we plan. I never planned on being 23 years old and still living at home (although I could not be more grateful that my parents love me enough to let me stay!). I never planned on going through the major emotional, mental, and spiritual changes that I have in the past year and a half. And I certainly never planned on locking my keys in my car while I was out shopping yesterday (not my finest moment). At first all I could think was, "Seriously?? I've gone years without ever doing this." Then I thought, "Well, at least it's nice outside and I'm not having to wait for my extra key in the rain. And at least I'm at the mall where I can just run inside and kill time. And at least my step-dad is on his way to save me." Those two words started playing over and over in my head: AT LEAST. Life is gonna throw you curve balls. Some are big, some are small. Some happen without us realizing it, and some happen that you can never forget even if you tried. The fact that things aren't always going to go your way is inevitable. You can't always control it. What you can control is your reaction to it. The story of Job always comes to mind whenever I think of life not always going my way. Now I know what you're probably thinking......"Um, you locked your keys in your car. I'm pretty sure that Job had to deal with a little more than that." But my statement still stands.
     For those of you who don't know the story of Job, let me give you a brief synopsis. Basically, this guy Job was an upstanding man of God. He followed God's word, and gave God the glory in everything he did. He was pretty legit, in a nutshell. One day, the enemy went up to God and asked, "So, you know your servant Job? Is it okay if I mess with him a little bit?" And God answered, "Sure, go ahead. Just don't kill him." Let me stop here and explain what I believe about this exchange. Some people automatically think, "What in the world? How can God allow something like that to happen to someone who has done nothing but serve Him?" The thing is though, God knew exactly how the whole thing was going to play out. He believed in Job's faith. Trust me, He doesn't do or allow anything to happen without a reason. (Spoiler alert: God always wins.) Long story short, the enemy threw every curve ball at Job that you could imagine. He took away his crops, his cattle, his livelihood, his family, his health, everything that I can guarantee if any of us lost, we'd be sitting in a corner bawling our eyes out. But you know what? Job never faltered. He never lost his faith in God, knowing that God saw the bigger picture. There is always a bigger picture. There is always a silver lining. There is always a Savior watching out for you, because believe me when I say, no mater what you're going through, it could always be worse. Always.
     If you're going through a difficult, or seemingly impossible season, I want to encourage you. Life isn't going to always go your way. It isn't always going to be perfect. But it can always be good. God loves you SO much, more than a mere human could ever put into words. He can and will bring you through anything, if you allow Him. Open your heart. Break down that wall of bitterness and anger that comes from life's struggles. Let Him love on you and bring you through the hard parts so He can show you the beautiful ones. He wants you to let go of the things and difficulties of this world and lean on Him. So what's stopping you?

The Untitled Rev-olutions Project

       Happy New Year!! I cannot believe that it is already 2015. Does anyone else feel like last year just FLEW by?? I can definitely say that it was by far the most eventful year I have had in a long time. Spending New Years in Baja with some of the most amazing people I have ever met. Finishing nursing school and conquering the hardest mountain I have ever faced. Passing my NCLEX exam and achieving a feat that, for a while, I was not sure was possible. Realizing that it's more about finishing strong rather than finishing perfect. Traveling to Storybrooke and defeating the Snow Queen. (That was my 8:30am attempt at humor. I just finally caught up on Once Upon A Time and can't figure out why I waited this long to discover it. Or use Netflix for that matter.) Anyway, as I was looking back on everything that had happened in 2014, it was as if all I could think was, "Okay, now what?" I had accomplished my two biggest goals of the year (three if you count having a job after graduation, which I cannot thank God enough for!!) and now I felt as if I was sitting with my scrubs and stethoscope, waiting for the next big thing to come along. I felt stuck. I've only been out of school for about 8 months, an actual employed RN for about 6, and I was already feeling as if this was all I was ever going to do. 12 hour shifts dispersed throughout the week with feeble attempts to catch up on sleep on the in-between days. They say you can't take your work home with you, but when people's lives are in your inexperienced hands, sometimes all you do is go back and mentally inspect your actions with a fine-toothed comb, dissecting if anything you did could have ended badly. Now don't get me wrong, I love what I do. I love seeing people who came in with almost next to no hope walk out with a smile on their face, hugging you before they leave, thanking you for everything you did. But sometimes it mentally, physically, and emotionally drains every ounce of strength that you have. I was feeling as if I was just Jessica, RN. That's it. I am one of the biggest supporters of the phrase "You are not your job." Yes, I'm a nurse, but that's not all I am. Yes, you may be a teacher, but that's not all you are. You may be a student, but that's not all you are. You may be a mother, but that's not all you are. God didn't make us to be one-dimensional. One of the most beautiful aspects that God entwined into each and every one of our sets of DNA is that we can be this AND this. I can be a nurse and a missionary and an artist and a baker and....and....and. Now I'm not saying that one person should try to be everything and everyone (Trust me, you'll just end up disappointing yourself and burning out in the process), but I am not defined by my nametag, and neither are you. God didn't write my story to be finished at 23. I want to get married and have a family and travel the world and do so many things that, at the moment, don't seem even remotely possible, but they are. They so are.
       I decided that I wanted to have a word this year, a word that I could look at whenever I feel disappointed or upset, and it would remind me of the promises that God has given me to be fulfilled. A word that I would love to share with you as a source of uplifting encouragement. JOY. So simple, but for me, so powerful and perfectly sums up what I'm seeking for this year. And a reminder that I don't need to be constantly seeking the "next step." I just need to seek after the Lord and He will bring me to those next steps, or even bring them to me. You won't always be happy. You won't always even be content. But you can always have joy, because joy comes from the deepest parts of your soul. Joy overcomes the darkest of circumstances and connects us to God's heart in ways that no one can explain. When you have joy, nothing is unattainable. Nothing is impossible. And most importantly, with joy, we are more than our day jobs. We are children of God, and there is nothing more beautiful :)

       I've never really liked the idea of New Years Resolutions, because they just always seemed so......limited. And conventional. And if there is one thing that I've never been, it's conventional. You don't need a new year to begin to make a change. But, in the spirit of a new year and new beginnings and new joy, I present for your viewing pleasure:

                                                       New Year's REV-olutions

• Build my relationship with my heavenly Father and embrace the ah-mazing plans He has for me
• Finish at least half of the ever-increasing stack of books I've bought in the past two years
• Eat healthier (please no one freak out. I'm not trying to lose weight. I just need to stop eating so much junk food and soda ;) )
• Learn how to play tennis and actually play on a regular basis
• Finish building my bedroom at home (I would love for this one to be finished by the end of January!)
• Open up my own Etsy shop and paint on a more regular basis
• Spend more time with my family
• Pay off my student loans (I dream big, haha)
• Utilize my Erin Condren Life Planner (that my BFF decidedly introduced me to) to its fullest capacities, AKA be more organized
• Travel more (I'd be alright with on this continent, but if anyone wanted to pay for a trip to Paris or Ireland for me, I definitely wouldn't object!)
• Get started with the Essential Oils group I've recently found (I'm all about finding natural ways to stay healthy!!)
• Be more of an encouragement to those around me and allow the joy that God has given me to help lift up others

 These are just some of the main ones that I'm really working hard to accomplish this year. I would love to hear what some of your rev-oltutions are, and be source of encouragement for any goals you are trying to accomplish! Remember, you don't need a new year to make a new start. You just need courage, determination, and most importantly, joy.