When I was little, one of the pets that I wanted the most was a hamster. Don't ask me why, but the idea of having a little ball of fluff that I could fit in my pocket if I wanted to was all too appealing. For some reason, I loved watching hamsters run in their wheels. There was something kind of mesmerizing about watching this little thing run round and round, even if he never got anywhere. Well, that may be fine for a hamster, but when you start feeling like YOU'RE the hamster and you're simply spinning your wheels without actually getting anywhere? That can be a problem. Unfortunately, we all have times where we feel like we are in ruts. We want so badly to push through and push harder and hustle and just get there, that we end up burnt out with nothing to show for it. We criticize ourselves for having bad days and think something is wrong with us when we feel like giving up or giving in. We put on our brave faces and pretend like everything is perfect and we have our lives completely together, when in reality, we have no idea what we're doing.
Let me stop you right there and say this: there is NOTHING wrong with you for feeling this way. I will be the first to admit that I am currently in a place where I am not entirely sure what my next move is going to be. I'll even admit that I had a mini meltdown yesterday and spent a good 45 minutes spontaneously crying (side note: I thank God every day, especially yesterday, for my incredibly patient, level-headed, sweet boyfriend because goodness knows he gets the brunt of my crazy). The past month has been nothing short of chaotic. Between having to spontaneously move to a new home and attempting to keep my life held together with coffee and planner stickers, there have been days where all I wanted to do was stay under the covers and watch Netflix with my dog. I feel like giving in at times. I feel like a hamster on its wheel, moving at a million miles and hour, but never actually reaching my destination. I feel burnt out and tired and cranky and unsure, and certainly have no desire to try to check off the necessary things on my to-do list. So how do I find the motivation to throw the covers off, toss my messy hair up in a bun, and wrestle this life? Because I know I don't have to do it alone. Because in the crazy and the unsure, my God is a forever steady constant. He made us to in a way so that we'd HAVE to depend on Him, and honestly, I'm so glad He did! Yes, we all need to try our absolute best and give God our absolute best, but the beauty of that is, wherever it is that we fall short, Christ simply picks up our slack with a gentle, "Don't worry. I've got this." How amazing is that?? Guys, we don't have to do it all or have it all or be it all, because Christ already is! How freeing is that reminder?! He has already picked up our slack and our pieces and our broken messes before we even ask Him to, because He is that good. He has your absolute best interest in mind, if only we will trust Him with it. I'm not perfect, and I have no clue where the next few months are going to lead, and that fact alone is a little daunting, but I know that through everything, through the uncertainty and the chaos and the fear and tiredness, God has me by the hand, ever so gently guiding me off my hamster wheel. He loves you, no matter what you've done or how far you've fallen. Let Him steer for a while, and allow yourself a moment of rest. Bring your tired, fragile, potentially broken dreams and desires and plans and lay them at the foot of the Cross. Give yourself a break, and watch what the God of creation can do. I promise you, it's infinitely better than spinning on your wheel.
