Why Am I Up This Late??

The other night, I woke up at 1:30 in the morning for some unknown reason, and proceeded to try everything I could think of to fall back asleep. Nothing seemed to work. I laid awake, tossing and turning, for about 2 hours before I remembered something that my mom had always told me: “If for whatever reason, you wake up all of a sudden, and can’t seem to fall back asleep, ask God what He’s trying to tell you.” So I sat up in bed, grabbed my Bible, and………nothing. I don’t think there is anything more discouraging than attempting to listen for God’s voice and hearing nothing. In the silence, my mind began to wander and I started to think about how I wasn’t exactly looking forward to going to work on Saturday because I had been dealing with a bad cold for about a week and still wasn’t entirely over it. Then I started thinking about how I wish it was June so I could go on vacation with my family or August so I could travel to Nicaragua on my church’s summer mission trip (more about that coming later). Basically I wanted it to be any day BUT Saturday. Absentmindedly, I clicked on my phone and decided to check the Bible App I had downloaded. At the top of the page was a scroll-through of some of the new devotional plans they were featuring this week. One in particular stood out to me: Ambition and Your Work. Out of sheer curiosity, I clicked on the sample of the first day and as I began to read the devotional content, the phrase “there are no accidents,” came to mind.

“Godly ambition aims to know and follow Christ, not just at church, but in the workplace as well. Since he is God over our whole lives, we can make it our goal to know him more and live for his glory wherever we are.

Godly ambition is also characterized by concern for the welfare of others. As we grow in knowing Jesus, we will develop a passion for God and his redemptive purposes for the world. Like Jesus, we are called to look not only to our own interests, but to the interests of others.”

….But to the interests of others.

Talk about a slap in the face that knocks you down a few notches…..the verse that went along with the content was Philippians 2: 1-4, but what caught a hold of me were the last two verses: “Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” It was one of those moments where I had to just set my Bible down and stare at the ceiling for a few moments. What was I doing? Here I was, accomplishing exactly what I had worked so long and hard for, and all I could do was complain about having to actually do it. I should be thankful that I am able to wake up every day knowing that I had a good, stable job in the exact field I had strived for. I should be thankful that God rescued me from the dark place of anxiety and fear that had held me captive for so long, and was using me to touch peoples’ lives every day. My ambition to be successful had become totally out of line with God’s definition of successful. I had stopped looking at my job as a mission opportunity and started looking at it the way the world does: as an inconvenience that I had to do. I had completely lost sight of where I had been just two short years ago, when I would have given just about anything to be where I am now. Living for God doesn’t just mean going to church on Sunday and singing along to the songs, maybe taking a note or two on the sermon. Living for God means embodying what He stands for and incorporating that belief and lifestyle into every aspect of our lives, really living LIKE God; aligning our ambitions and desires and goals with what He ultimately wants. And what He ultimately wants is for His people to come to know Him. That’s it. Forget all the bells and whistles and lists of what you can and cannot do, and know that all God wants is for His people to come to know Him and His goodness. We have opportunities every day to use where we are at and the everyday jobs that we have to be a light in a world that has grown so dark. Let those goals and ambitions that you have drive you, but ultimately, don’t forget who the Driver is and what He wants for you. Because I promise you it’s good, better than you can ever imagine. So today, or tomorrow, or whenever the next time you have to walk into your workplace is, remember that God lead you there for a reason that extends far beyond you simply having a job. He wants to use you and help you succeed. So why not let Him?