Check Yes or No

      So in case anyone missed it, yesterday was Valentine's Day. I'm not ashamed to admit that for the past five years, Valentine's Day was just a more widely known name for Singles Awareness Day for me. While there were times I longed for someone to take me out and buy me flowers, I don't regret the time I had to grow as a person and grow closer to my ultimate True Love, my Lord Jesus Christ. He showed me the real meaning of love by reminding me that I was not alone when dealing with my anxiety, and standing by me when I felt like I was not worth loving. Though my "season of singleness" was filled with nights of crying over romance movies and dreaming of the day when I would experience my own novel-worthy, sunset-boat-ride, chance-encounter, hanging-off-a-ferris-wheel, declaring-his-undying-love-at-sunrise, kind of moment, I finally had reached the point where I was okay, and I mean TRULY okay, with being single. I had this idea when I was younger of what I thought a relationship should be like and what loving someone was, but in reality, I had no idea. None at all.
     I had your typical teenage romances when I was in high school, and I'll admit that I was a bit (okay, a lot) rebellious when it came to what I thought was the right decision as far who I dated was concerned. Thankfully I had parents who were praying for me constantly and a God who was always beside me, behind me, and in front of me, guiding me away from the danger I could have potentially gotten into. During the five years I have been single between early college and now, God has been doing some pretty amazing things in my life. If you've been following my blog from the beginning, you know that through His grace and mercy and unending love, He brought me out of a place of anxiety and borderline depression and gave me the strength to make it through nursing school and has provided so many opportunities and opened so many doors that I never imagined were possible, some not even related to my chosen career. The love that God shows towards His people is often called "agape love." In a nutshell, this agape love is perfect. It covers all mistakes and keeps no record of wrongs. It encompasses the very essence of true love and helps provide the framework for the relationship that God longs to have with His children. People often strive to have this love towards their significant other, but all too often fail due to the fickle, imperfect human nature. Over the past couple of months however, through the grace of God and His blessing on my life, I have been able to experience just a small sliver of the love that He has poured out on my life. And it came in the form of a handsome, brunette best friend of mine....
*WARNING: This is about to get real mushy, real fast. Those of you with weak stomachs, please exit the internet at this time.*
     When I was in 7th grade, I was seated next to this very quiet boy in Civics class. I could tell he was obviously smart, and I thought was pretty cute, and in middle school, that was apparently all that mattered. I, being the go-getter that I am (I'm laughing hysterically at myself for saying that, btw) decided to take matters into my own hands and passed this boy a note that probably said something along the lines of, "Hey, I like you. Will you go out with me? Check Yes or No." I was so smooth back then. I guess he was past the whole "girls have cooties" stage at that point, because he checked the yes box. In that one stroke of his pen, I had a boyfriend. I wasn't lame and single. For two weeks anyway. At the Open House that they had at our school, I saw him and his mom down the hallway from where my mom and I were standing. I grabbed my mom's hand and proceeded to weave my way through the crowd towards my super devoted and wonderful boyfriend that I had had for two weeks and had gone on approximately zero dates with.......you see where I'm going with this? By the time we had reached where they had been standing, he was no where to be seen. He had run away quicker than I had expected, considering he wasn't exactly the athletic type back then. I was completely heartbroken. The next day, in my true dramatic fashion, I told him that this was not going to work out and that I thought we should see other people. Over the next several years, we ended up always having the same advanced classes, because we were both nerds like that, and I eventually was able to forgive him for crushing my middle school dreams of having a boyfriend. Throughout high school, he became one of my very best friends. I didn't quite understand it at that point, but he and I shared this unexplainable connection. He simply understood me better than just about anyone, and I couldn't help but have a smile on my face whenever I was around him. Fast forward, we somehow ended up at the same college together and our close friendship only grew from there. He was the first person I wanted to tell certain things to, and we were able to communicate without saying a word. We laughed over the same lame, nerdy jokes and I always looked forward to the time we spent together surrounded by our other friends. To quote Grey's Anatomy, he was essentially my person. Through extraneous circumstances, however, that closeness that I felt to him was short lived. We went over three full years without speaking to each other after he graduated college, and I truly thought I had lost my best friend.......
     However, God, my merciful God of agape love and crazy humor, had a totally different plan. Through some not-so-great events, this guy, this best friend of mine was brought back into my life. Nothing felt like it had changed between us, but at the same time, I believe we both knew that everything was about to change. I supported and encouraged and prayed for him as he dealt with something that I pray no one has to ever go through. I allowed him to lean on me for support and did my very best to point him towards the ever-open, agape love of the Father to mend his heart. We also began to mend our relationship that had been damaged in the crossfire of circumstance, and the closeness that I had held so dear once before slowly began to emerge again. No matter what, no matter how long it had been, this guy was my best friend. Even though I had known him for 12, almost 13 years, I was still finding things out about him that I never knew, or perhaps I always knew, but had forgotten. This guy has one of the biggest hearts I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Under a thick layer of sarcasm and snarkiness, he loves more and deeper than just about anyone I know. His love for people and their hearts is so incredibly admirable, and watching him interact with not only the kids in his church, but his own niece and nephew is something I love to watch. Even though he's had to go through some incredibly difficult circumstances this past year, he still manages to display complete joy and a love for life. He's constantly pointing me towards Christ in every circumstance and when he prays, the sincerity and honesty is overwhelming. He makes me laugh despite myself, and I've yet to be able to be in a bad mood around him. I have whole-heartedly fallen for my best friend. Despite circumstances, despite some negative opinions, and despite what worldly logic may say, I truly believe that our friendship, in every aspect, was due to some major divine intervention. I know it's not perfect, we're not perfect, but it's without a doubt one of the easiest decisions I have ever made. I'm so excited to see where this adventure takes us, and I pray every day that God gives me the heart to love with agape love, placing selfish ambitions and desires aside, and trusting that God's plan is bigger and better than anything I could have imagined. I have decided to love despite shortcomings and mistakes, despite what people may say. I have decided to finally check "Yes."